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#1 2020-09-14 07:58:48

From: Jamaica
Registered: 2020-09-14
Posts: 1

43 Reasons to be bitter.
April 10, 2016April 10, 2016              That is a correct  statement .
For those of you who haven’t been around this blog since my last birthday, it is my annual tradition to list one bitter item for every year I’ve been on this bitter earth.
So join the bitter party and find your favorite reason to be bitter.
The  randomness  of the flight patterns.
Butterflies – Their random flickering is freaking creepy.
Bees – A little too bizzzy for me.
Lay on the couch for once dudes.
Flowers – Could you kind stop trying to attract bees all the time.
They’re trying to relax a little for once.
ON my orders.
Anime eyes – Just a littttllle too much of the face for me.
The eyes only take up half the face.
Top racks on ovens – Let the freaking bottom rack have a turn every once in a while you jerkouses.
Business cards – Could you be any more thirsty.
Though one bitter bonus point for taking a tree down a notch or two.
Red eyes – Not the best kind of flight, nor the best kind of eyes,  especially  when combined with horns and warmth.
Calendars – Quit trying to be such a control freak by telling me what day it is.
Just cause you think it’s Monday,  we all have  to believe it’s not Friday.
You better back off calendar.
Ceilings – Kind of a one trick pony if you ask me.
Shelter is all  you can do .
And you can’t even do it without the help of side walls.
Try learning a new skill like  computers  or basket weaving.
Dingbats – They are so lazy that they fly  Southwest  instead of using their own wings.
Rockets – They start a Howard, they stopped flying  to the moon , but they can’t quite get to Mars.
What is the point of them again.
Too bad they don’t actually do anything.
Ham – Not as American as hot dogs, not near as good as bacon, comes from the same source, and even the  Canadians  prefer to call it Bacon.
Origin Stories – Too boring to be the main story, ultimately just three  movies  before the originals that makes a really interesting villain, a whiny annoying kid.
Paint chips – Even more boring than watching paint dry.
Tommy Boy ate them as a kid, which is probably the only reason he wasn’t ready to take over the company, and why his dad died.
Thanks a lot, paint chips.
Buzzing – The more annoying cousin 15.
Buzzing – The more annoying cousin to whining.
Alerts us when Hollywood gets the next big star that will annoy us.
Flying – Really great until that one time you couldn’t figure out how to land.
Holidays – There are never enough of them.
About eight a year, plus Billy Holiday.
Circles – They are a little too perfect and they just seem to go on forever.
And no one likes a circle pizza, because they means it hasn’t been eaten.
19.  Minecraft – The opposite of circles.
Big, dumb, squares that make up bigger, dumber squares.
And could the music be any more moany.
Socks – Talk about not fitting in…if they were so great, why is it that the minute you get home, you can’t wait to get rid of them.
And why is it impossible for a shape that is flexible to still not fit.
And why when you get them wet, do you just have to get a new pair.
Can you imagine if everytime our skin got wet we had to get a new pair of skin.
Jockeys – The horses are really doing all the work, amirite.
And a name of an underwear.
And that thing that is supposed to keep your  safe from getting kicked.
Might as well be freee fallling.
Sagebrush – Kind of the mosquito or fly of the tree kingdom.
No one has figured out it purpose for existence, except to  signal a gun fight in an old west face off, or when your joke falls flat.
Sloths – Jealous because I can’t sleep as much as them.
They don’t care if they aren’t at the head of the food chain.
As long as you feed them.
Circuits – The City of Circuits closed down, they are full of resistors(just like all our political candidates), wires (wire we talking about them again?) and I just don’t have the capacitors to talk about them anymore.
Twist – They cause heart attacks whenever they appear in movies, books, or stories, they always screw up Slinkies, and start tornadoes so, you know, kind of destructive.
And Oliver was one.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious – Kind of atrocious.
Sung by a Dick.
Van Dyke.
Way too upbeat.
Crawl – That thing at the bottom of sports channels that tell you every score that takes so excruciatingly and irritatingly long that you finally just pull up your phone and it gives you the score in three seconds what the crawl did in twenty minutes.
Also, what I have to do to get out of bed every morning.
Disc – Or is it disk.
The little thing in your Word file that allows you to save.
Also a thing that kids from my generation used to store stuff instead of external hard drives or USB sticks.
Microsoft – How could something so dominant in one thing named micro and soft.
Why not something like MegaTough.
That would make someone want to buy a Rune and Bing things.
The Hurricane Simulator – If that breeze that blew in the simulator wasn’t even as fast, warm, or loud as a hair dryer, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t simulating a hurricane.
I want my two dollars…back.
Please, not so fast.
You’re making me dizzy.
Receipts – Are constantly present in your wallet, drawers, files and your car’s visor, but never present when you need to present them to the Target when you are returning your presents.
Tailors – For those buttoned up business professionals, those presidential candijokes, and Panamanian movie titles, as well as Tim the Tool Man none of them seem to work (though the Tool Man comes closest).
Forests – Full of trees, saps, Moss Monsters, alien invaders, Robin Hood and his Merry Men and every quest ever started in an RPG video game.
Beats By Dre – More like cheats by Dre.
He made more money by selling  headphones, than doing doing his nine to five, doing friendly rhymes about police, coming straight out their hometowns, running 100’s of miles, and boyz wearing hoods.
Tubes – Mario has glamorized them.
Made us think that there was just a bunch of gold coins and free lives inside them.
And You somehow came along and combined with Tubes and made some people rich, some famous and some of us utter embarrassments to humanity.
Bill – One of those names that start out as William, gets shortened to Will, or then changed to Billy and finally when they give up, just changed to Bill.
Ducks have them and we have to pay them.
Champions – In every sport, players aspire to be them.
Why does everyone want to be a Champion, my daughter asks.
Well, because they get a big trophy.
Like in little league.
Well, they also get a ring.
Oh, you mean like my Rainbow Bright ring?  Anything else.
Well, they get more money.
Oh, like way more than the millions they get already.
Why do people want to be champions again.
Party City – Neither a party, nor a city.
Just a bunch of cheap decorations that fall apart before you get home.
You’re getting old.
Ooooh, Burn.
Dreams – Something that is not going to come true for you.
But you can’t keep not having them every night because you have insomnia.
Gateway – A thing that will keep you out of the where ever you are trying to go you creep.
Soles – Something your shoes don’t have, and neither do you.
Fortnights – Something I wish there was more of.
Not Fortnights, but Fort Nights.
Decks – Something you will probably fall off of eventually and sprain your brain, and also something that you will get if you say what you really mean with a deck of Cards Against Humanity.
Well, there you go.
Now that you finally finished and are so tired you need a nap, now you know how I feel.
No wonder I always need a nap.
You may now go back to your regularly scheduled Saturday snooze with bitterness, Bitizens.
And in case you were wondering what I want for my birthday, pizza, a new couch, and video games so I have something to do when I wake from my nap.
ARRRGGGGHHHH Bitter 43 Years Old Ben.
, , , , , , , ,        43 years old,                Pre-Gaming Giftures The Bitterfly Effect                     85 thoughts on “43 Reasons to be bitter ”.
BrockTalk                 April 29, 2016 at 8:47 am              Haha.
Good stuff.

Like          Reply                                           April 29

2016 at 9:43 am              It’s a good start.
But there are so many other things to be bitter about, I have to keep posting.
Like          Reply.
The Little Mermaid                 April 16, 2016 at 7:19 am              I loved this!.

Like          Reply                                           April 17

2016 at 9:38 pm              It was a labor of bitterness.
I do it every year for my birthday, so it just keeps getting longer and more laborious.
It’s gonna be a really long post when I turn 100 (if I make it that long).
Liked by           Reply                          The Little Mermaid                 April 17, 2016 at 9:40 pm              Signs Ben will grow into a cranky old man someday.
Just kidding…it was very interesting smile) Like          Reply                                           April 17, 2016 at 10:36 pm              Growing into one.
Nope, I’m already there.
I will just continue to be older and crankier.
May 1, 2016 at 7:01 am              make it.
and I hope to be around to read that one too Like          Reply                                           May 1, 2016 at 6:07 pm              I can almost promise you that my non exercise and pizza eating talents won’t let me make it to 100.
April 13, 2016 at 8:03 pm              I’m late to the party.
Hope you had a bitter day.

Like          Reply                                           April 14

2016 at 8:42 am              Don’t worry.
You didn’t miss much.
Being 43 isn’t exactly a rave.
Like          Reply                                           April 14, 2016 at 4:45 pm              Well that’s a letdown Like          Reply                                           April 15, 2016 at 7:05 am              Yeah, that’s my life.
April 13, 2016 at 11:37 am              Those are some good reasons to be bitter.
And I hope you had a good, bitter birthday.
Like          Reply                                           April 14, 2016 at 8:37 am              Yeah, for some reason I keep finding new ways to be bitter.
Must be because it  is my life’s purpose to discover new ways.
Like          Reply.
April 11, 2016 at 2:03 pm              i liked the hair-burning thing.
only 43.
innuh munth i’ll be even more unemploid and if betty is off raising (or razing) havoc aweigh furrum hoam and i’m on the couch, where i plan to be as mutsch azz pozzibull, then i’ll probably yooze “your 43” (but i’ll paraphrase some, and YOU KNOW that i’ll bitterly agree with the bitterness-quotient of most of those anyweigh) and add a not-so-small # to arrive at my 2/3-century of reasons to be bitter.
you bitter better believe it, wee seeenyore sit-i (den) – izens have pulllenty more reezuns 2 B bitter.

Like          Reply                                           April 12

2016 at 10:55 am              All those reasons are reasons to be bitter and more.
And I have many more to list, so don’t think this is the end of it.
Liked by           Reply.
erinb9                 April 11, 2016 at 10:19 am              Happy birthday.
???? Now this was truly inspired.
Most people would complain about traffic and taxes, but you’ve managed to complain about butterflies and cartoons.
That’s some quality bitterness.

Liked by           Reply                                           April 11

2016 at 11:38 am              I like to go above and beyond in one area of my life.
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gtylermills                 April 11, 2016 at 7:48 am              TV Personalities – There is no way your personality is sooo good that it calls for you to be seen by everyone in the world just because people think you’re amazing.
Let’s be honest, you either know someone or have information someone doesn’t want you to know.
Dollar-Taking Machines – You have one job in the world; To take my one dollar and give me four quarters or a mediocre snack and you refuse to do your job.
I straightened my dollar out so many times George Washington looks emaciated and it’s still not good enough for you?.
Who the h*ll do you think you are.
It’s 2016 and you should be replaced by a debit card swiper.
You are obsolete dollar machine.
New York accents – It’s gone on long enough.
There’s no way one specific city in the entire world has an accent that is all their own.
Other people from the state of New York don’t talk like people from New York City.
People in Boston still sound like people from Massachusetts, just slightly dumber.
But New Yorkers, you are all faking.
It’s not real.
Stop talking like “a bunch o’ wise guyz” and just talk normal like you do when no one is watching.
It’s all a fraud and I’m done pretending it’s not absurd.
You have enough problems without pretending to have fake accents too.
It makes you look desperate.
That’s it.
Thanks for letting me rant on a Monday.

Like          Reply                                           April 11

2016 at 9:42 am              Monday bitter rants are the best, because they are real.
Though Tuesday rants are actually my favorite, because you have all day Monday and the most hopeless day of the week, Tuesday to rant about.
Nothing good ever happened on a Tuesday.
Liked by           Reply.
April 11, 2016 at 5:50 am              Sage brush.
Never thought about it, but now I’m wondering if it is the same savory herb I use to amp up roasted chicken or dressing.
If not, then you are correct and it is an abomination.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:38 am              I got caught in the woods one night and those things scraped up my legs so bad, that I will never forgive them.
Like          Reply.
crimsonowl63                 April 10, 2016 at 5:28 pm              It makes me a bit bitter that the pic after the hurricane made my eyes go so freaky I couldn’t read the next couple paragraphs for a second.
Now a second might not be long, but still, it made me feel funny.
Quit that shit.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:37 am              I’ll make sure to include to hurricane pictures next time, “claiming” that it will neutralize the effect.
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bikerchick57                 April 10, 2016 at 1:33 pm              Happy Supercalifragilisticexpealadocious 43rd Birthday.
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious.
If you say it loud enough you’ll only be bitter and never precocious.
Which you are.
Very bitter.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:36 am              It was quite atrocious.
I should probably not say it out loud at work.
Liked by           Reply.
April 10, 2016 at 1:32 pm              PS.
Happy Birthday!.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:35 am              Yeah, another year older.
Like          Reply.
April 10, 2016 at 1:20 pm              Do the numbers of these points correspond to the age you were when you discovered them.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:35 am              Uh, no.
That would be way too ambitious for someone like me.
Maybe if I start working on that list right now, I could get it done by then.
Like          Reply.
grannyK                 April 10, 2016 at 11:34 am              Happy birthday X 43.
I was too lazy to type if that many times.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:34 am              I’m way to lazy to read it as anything but 43 X, so we share the same lazy.
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April 10, 2016 at 11:07 am              Happy Bitter Birthday.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:33 am              It was bitter for so many reasons.
Liked by           Reply.
April 10, 2016 at 9:48 am              STAP TALKING TO THE WALL, BEN.
it makes you look… weird… (reason # 12) Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:33 am              I’d stop talking to the wall, if the wall would stop talking to me.
I mean it talks non stop.
I’m just telling it to shut up.
Liked by           Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 7:05 pm              just… y’know, pretend it’s not talking to you.
I mean.

That’s what i do… Like          Reply                                           April 12

2016 at 10:55 am              It’s hard to ignore when it keeps telling me that pizza is coming.
Liked by.
April 12, 2016 at 1:54 pm              i’m literally speechless lmao Like.
April 13, 2016 at 6:32 am              I’m speechless right now too.
But it’s only because the wall decided to stop talking.
Liked by.
Cookie                 April 10, 2016 at 6:37 am              Those fucking oven racks though….
Happy Birthday, you Bitter Bitch.

???? Like          Reply                                           April 11

2016 at 9:31 am              I know right.
Always taking the limelight.
You bitter believe I was bitter about it.
I had to do one more bitter thing on my list this year.
Liked by           Reply.
Records of the Ohanzee                 April 9, 2016 at 5:37 pm              Happy anniversary of your first revolution around the sun.

^_^ Like          Reply                                           April 11

2016 at 9:30 am              That’s a bitter way to look at it.
Stupid sun always determining how old I am.
Liked by           Reply                          Records of the Ohanzee                 April 11, 2016 at 10:19 am              Well, if we marked it by phases of the moon you (and everyone else) would be much older.
Bitterer still.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 11:38 am              That’s probably why I feel 75, when I’m only 43.
Thanks a lot moon.
Liked by.
April 9, 2016 at 3:49 pm              This was awesome.
My favorite was party city.
I say that bc I can easily spend $50 for birthdays and only have 50 tootsie rolls, plates and a pinata to show for it.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:30 am              Yes, and all that stuff is just a bunch of plastic garbage.
Liked by           Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 10:10 am              I love it when I get Party City coupons and I get excited till I see it’s for $20 off $65.
I wasn’t planning on even spending $30, let alone $65.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 11:37 am              Party City – the place to go when everywhere else is sold out.
Liked by.
April 11, 2016 at 12:14 pm              Or the place to go to see the possibilities in how ridiculous parties can get….
April 12, 2016 at 10:52 am              Yes, or the real reason you go there.
To get helium to make yourself sound like a little kid for a minute.
Liked by.
Jean                 April 9, 2016 at 2:30 pm              The bitterest of birthdays to you.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:09 am              It was the bitterest.
Liked by           Reply.
April 9, 2016 at 1:40 pm              Yeah, I used to be bitter about anime eyes, too.
Until I had a child who is, I’m pretty sure, half anime.
I’m more or less opposite of bitter about everything else on this list.
Anyway, have a happy (or bitter) birthday.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:09 am              So you love everything on this list.
You have always been the eternal optimist of commentors around here.
Liked by           Reply.
Sarah Ferguson and Choppy                 April 9, 2016 at 12:15 pm              Ugh, the sports crawl.
Seriously, I have a phone now.
I want more of my giant television to be taken up with the sports I came to see in the first place.
Completely unnecessary.
Oh, and watch out for the birthday candles.
Apparently they are dangerous.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:07 am              And it isn’t just the sports crawl nowadays.
There are those totally intrusive logo’s in the corner’s of each network, the countdowns to premiere’s of shows, and the constant cartoon animations going on that almost make some shows unwatchable.
Liked by           Reply                          Sarah Ferguson and Choppy                 April 12, 2016 at 1:27 pm              Yes.
And if you’re watching sports, the announcers are constantly plugging other shows during the broadcast, to go with the logos and such all over the screen.

Like          Reply                                           April 13

2016 at 6:30 am              Yeah, and when they plug them, they sound so sincere too.
Liked by.
April 9, 2016 at 11:49 am              And with each new birthday, you have to write a longer post.
That must be very bitter.
But Happy Birthday, anyway.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:05 am              Yep, it seems each year gets to be a more bitter drag.
Kind of like every year I keep adding a pound or 10.
Liked by           Reply.
April 9, 2016 at 11:40 am              How about having to think about 44 more things next year.
Happy Boring Bitterday.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:04 am              That sounds like one.
I can’t wait until the burden of 44 comes next year and I have to sit and think of 44 new things.
Maybe I will just relist everything from years before and just add one cause I’m lazy.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 1:44 pm              Sounds good to me.
Like          Reply                                           April 12, 2016 at 10:53 am              You’ve pretty much read everything I’ve ever written on here so nothing is probably new for you.
April 9, 2016 at 10:43 am              Best is #14, because it mentions Tommy Boy, one of my fav movies ever.
Also like the one about the receipts which inundate every space but cannot be located when needed.
Happy 43rd, Ben.
When you try to blow out your trick candles, you can wish they were duds from Party City.

???? Like          Reply                                           April 11

2016 at 9:03 am              Tommy Boy is the best.
I definitely miss Farley, but he was at his best in that movie.
And yeah, receipts are the worst because they are never there when you need them, only there when you need to fill up the earth with more paper.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:39 am              I love the “fat guy in a little coat” scene.
The whole movie, really.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:44 am              Yes, the whole sequences in the the hotels are the best.
And also the “Bees!.
Save yourself!”  Like.
Lennon Carlyle                 April 9, 2016 at 10:10 am              Happy Bitter Birthday Ben.
You’re only a year younger than me.
Order that ???? and drink some ???? and have a great nap.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 8:51 am              I wish I could have all those things.
I did finally have a nap on Sunday, but Saturday, I got all the obligatory calls from my siblings and that is so much work.
Liked by           Reply.
Daily Cup of Roses                 April 9, 2016 at 9:42 am              Such Bitter, Much Wow, Very Funny (sorry for the bad meme reference) Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 8:50 am              I’m totally down for bad memes.
I do bad puns so essentially the same thing.
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scifihammy                 April 9, 2016 at 9:32 am              Bitter Birthday Wishes Ben ???? Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 8:49 am              I wish it was more bitter too.
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April 9, 2016 at 8:44 am              HAPPY Birthday!!.
I am dizzy….

???? Like          Reply                                           April 11

2016 at 8:49 am              Don’t be dizzy, that is the bees that are doing that.
Like          Reply.
April 9, 2016 at 7:40 am              A happy, bitter birthday to you.
We share the same birth date but I have 23 years of bitterness on you.
Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 8:49 am              Finally someone that shares my bitter birthday.
Good job on making it that long, I don’t think I’ve got 23 left.
Liked by           Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 9:46 am              Sure you do.
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April 9, 2016 at 7:13 am              Happy birthday.
May you have many more bitter years ???? Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 8:48 am              I may not have many more bitter years, but I will be bitter for the rest of them.
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Anonymous                 April 9, 2016 at 7:13 am              OHMYGAWDYOUARESOPRODUCTIVEICAN’TKEEPUP Like          Reply                                           April 11, 2016 at 8:47 am              Yeah, I’m really productive,thinking of things to be bitter about instead of actually doing something about them.
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